Toi Amano

 Trying to deal with worksheets, schedules, various organizational systems and tips is a constant struggle. Some of them work but only to some extent or for a time. Nothing works permanently. I'd say "to hell with systems, they just do not work for me!" and be done, but problem is THEY DO WORK. While I follow some system and try to behave like adult responsible organized person, results actually are amazing. And I feel good and accomplished and... relax. After relaxing return to organized being is incredibly hard and requires a lot of tricks, persuasion and kicks in the head. 

 Installed Win7. Didn't expect anything remotely decent after disaster named Vista. Nevertheless I like it a lot. Maybe there are some hidden flaws but if things progress the same way I think it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Actually many things happen. And keep happening. Many important and challenging things that I do not give a damn about. I'm not disappointed or irritated about flow of events in my life. The problem is that I really do not have any emotion for them. And it's worse than nothing at all, 'cos in that case you can go and try to make things happen. Not a chance here. Even the oncoming operation - something I'm fairly sure I should care about however minor it's supposed to be - do exist in the list of everyday chores between "visit dentist" and "do laundry".

Spring dissapeared in hectic rush of events and faces, summer melted away with sun and laziness. Maybe autumn is time for apathy and stillness. But I really miss fever.