toi: (Default)
 I'm drowning in research. I have most of the main characters fleshed out, fully outlined first act, fuzzy second and pretty developed setting. First couple of chapters are bouncing up and down in my head causing restlessness and occasional headache. But I still need to fully outline second and third act - or I'll dump NaNoWriMo again, I know, - minor chars, factions, history, political system, other background things that make story believable. Looks like I'd not be able to sit and actually write until November. Will it be funny if I find myself with great story and without any writing skill?
toi: (rimmer)
 Trying to deal with worksheets, schedules, various organizational systems and tips is a constant struggle. Some of them work but only to some extent or for a time. Nothing works permanently. I'd say "to hell with systems, they just do not work for me!" and be done, but problem is THEY DO WORK. While I follow some system and try to behave like adult responsible organized person, results actually are amazing. And I feel good and accomplished and... relax. After relaxing return to organized being is incredibly hard and requires a lot of tricks, persuasion and kicks in the head. 
toi: (toi)
Dear Diary,

Sorry I didn't pay adequate amount of attention to you. I have no excuses except that I'm incredibly lazy and forgetful. I promised myself to write every day but there always were more important or interesting  activities present. 

I have no idea why I at least managed to sit and write down this letter. But I went for a run this morning too - and I haven't done it for two years. So maybe it's a start of new shiny era of my life. Or quite possible that it is a fluke in perfectly functioning system of self-indulging and I'll return to you in six months or so. I bet on latter but miracles happen. Bye for now.

Love, Toi.

New OS

Oct. 19th, 2010 02:26 pm
toi: (toi)
 Installed Win7. Didn't expect anything remotely decent after disaster named Vista. Nevertheless I like it a lot. Maybe there are some hidden flaws but if things progress the same way I think it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship.


Oct. 18th, 2010 10:49 pm
toi: (witcherArt)
 Post-operational period is extremely irritating. Three days in bed, two weeks without any physical activity, two months outside free weights room. It's driving me mad 'cause I feel well. Really well. No pain, no discomfort, no weakness I was warned about. NOTHING. Like I didn't have that damn operation at all! My teeth bother me more. I want so much to pretend these restrictions do not exist and continue my now messed up training... but remaining bits of sanity protest. On the good side I have more time for NaNoWriMo and comp-activities. Let's start with installing new OS.
toi: (Default)
Actually many things happen. And keep happening. Many important and challenging things that I do not give a damn about. I'm not disappointed or irritated about flow of events in my life. The problem is that I really do not have any emotion for them. And it's worse than nothing at all, 'cos in that case you can go and try to make things happen. Not a chance here. Even the oncoming operation - something I'm fairly sure I should care about however minor it's supposed to be - do exist in the list of everyday chores between "visit dentist" and "do laundry".

Spring dissapeared in hectic rush of events and faces, summer melted away with sun and laziness. Maybe autumn is time for apathy and stillness. But I really miss fever.


toi: (Default)
Toi Amano

June 2011

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